New Period of Embarrassment

Toddlers are so bluntly honest that it is funny most of the time to hear what they say but embarrassing for the parents if anyone else is around. On our recent trip to Washington D.C., Scarlett said a few things that embarrassed us if we knew for sure that someone else heard her. When we were at the Dulles airport waiting for our flight to return to San Francisco, I was buying some dinner for our flight while my husband watched our luggage with Scarlett. She needed to poop and since she knew that she had diapers on, she just decided to do it. We usually try to put her in pull-ups or diapers when we're out and not sure when the next bathroom would be available. Even though she is potty-trained, she will choose to do her business in her pull-ups or diapers because she knows that she can. She will simply proclaim that she has pull-ups or diapers on, which tells us that she has decided to "go." In any case, my husband and Scarlett were sitting near the boarding gate with all the other travelers when Scarlett did her business and loudly proclaimed, "baba, I put poo-poo out of my butt in my diapers." My husband felt so embarrassed that he called me on my cell phone to see if I was done purchasing our dinner. Then during our flight, Scarlett was watching her Winnie-the-Pooh DVD and laughing at something funny in it. She then announced loudly "I gassed out" as she was laughing. I wonder if the people in the rows in front or behind us heard her.

Trip to Washington DC

Contrary to my fears, our flight to and from D.C. turned out well, despite Scarlett getting sick right before our trip. With a combination of snacks, nap, books, games, and DVD, she was well-behaved and entertained throughout both flights. I think she got out of her seat only once. However, she was fairly sick during the first few days of our trip, coughing non-stop and giving her cold to me. In spite of it all, I think we had a good time. Unlike when my husband and Scarlett accompanied me to my conference in Toronto last summer where my husband swore he would never do it again, Scarlett was much better behaved this time with my role and my husband's reversed. Although, the situation is slightly different.

I wanted to accompany him to his conference in D.C. mostly to take advantage of the opportunity to visit three of my cousins who live in the area. So we spent a few non-conference days at my cousin's house in Virginia, which made life with a 2-year-old a bit easier. Even though my cousin doesn't have any kids (yet) and thus no toys, she did have two dogs, which Scarlett liked. One wasn't friendly at all toward Scarlett but it was good for her to experience that. I think she needs to learn that not all dogs are like our greyhound: gentle, non-aggressive, and forgiving towards her sometimes unkind treatment.

When we were in D.C. for my husband's conference, it helped a lot that we stayed at Embassy Suites where there was an extra "living room", a microwave, and a mini-refrigerator. It make life a bit easier with a toddler who still wants her milk hot. Even though there weren't too many things to do in D.C. with a toddler, with the not-so-frigid weather, we managed to visit the zoo and the Mall where the Washington Monument and the national museums are. What's even better about Scarlett visiting the East Coast was the fact that she stayed on California time. That meant her bedtime was around 11pm instead of 8pm. So we were able to go out at night and see the White House, the Monument, and eat out for dinner every night.


Visiting my other two cousins who live in Maryland reminded me how nice it is to have family near by when one has kids. These two cousins of mine are sisters one year apart in age and they live one town over from one another. They each have two little kids: one has an almost 1.5-year-old and 3-year-old and the other one has a 3-year-old and 4-year-old. They see each other just about everyday and the kids all play together. I thought about how nice that was to have. Unfortunately, I'm not close to my brothers and we don't live close to any of our family members. And Scarlett doesn't have any cousins (yet). Luckily, I have a very good mommy-group where Scarlett has 8 other friends her age. I guess in my socio-economic group, this is our "family."

If I Were a Betting Woman...

Well, sure enough, Scarlett came down with a stuffy nose today. Let's hope our 5 hours flight tomorrow isn't miserable. It's incredible how many times this has occurred - the day before we fly somewhere, she comes down w/ a cold. Arghh!! What are the odds of that?!

The Link Between Daycare and Traveling

These days, whenever we plan to travel somewhere, I always dread the flight. We've traveled often enough that flying is no big deal but it's the fact that Scarlett has a knack for getting sick RIGHT before we fly somewhere. There's been many flights that have been ruined because Scarlett caught a cold from daycare right before we have to fly somewhere. I've often heard the advice that children need to chew/suck on something during take-off and landing of a flight because the pressure difference hurts their ears. My experience has been that it only bothers Scarlett when she's sick (with her sinuses all stuffed up). We flew to Hawaii about a year and a half ago and Scarlett was sick when we flew there. The entire 5 hour flight was miserable. She was cranky, wouldn't sit in our lap, wouldn't eat, and cried most of the time. The flight back from Hawaii was the complete opposite. She sat the entire flight and was entertained and happy. Similar story on flights to LA. So now that we're planning to fly out to DC this weekend to visit my cousins, I'm starting to worry about her catching a cold. Sure enough, yesterday I found out that one of her friends at daycare came down with a cold and one of her daycare providers has a cold. She's with me today and tomorrow but I'll have to drop her off again on Fri. so that I can do some work and pack. I'll be crossing my fingers and toes for the next few days hoping that she doesn't come down with a cold.

Separation

Infants and toddlers normally go through phases of separation anxiety. Those that are used to being in a constant environment tend to experience it more. Scarlett has been in daycare since she was about 4 months old. And it has been the same daycare ever since she started. She really loves it there and knows all her playmates. However, we still go through occasional periods of separation anxiety when I drop her off. These periods haven't really started until she was about 1.5 years old. Mondays are usually the worst and are the most likely days when it would happen. After spending four days straight with me (since she goes Mon-Wed), she tends to get upset on Monday mornings when I drop her off. She's usually fine until she gets to the door of her daycare room. Then she gets very clingy and doesn't want to talk to anyone. I've gone through this many times and it still kills me to leave her. This morning, I stayed with her for a short while but she still clung to me. So one of her daycare providers picked her up and hugged her, which was the signal for me to "get away." I know, it sounds awful that I do it but I've tried staying longer and lingered around but nothing seems to work. As I walked away from her room this morning, I could hear her screaming and crying "Mama come!". It just tore me apart but I knew that she would be ok in a couple of minutes.
I've read that the child's reluctance to go to daycare can be a sign that there's something going on at daycare that the child doesn't like. I'm pretty sure though that this is not the case. The daycare providers are very loving and I've dropped by numerous times during random times of the day and have seen her having a great time playing or seen a daycare provider holding and soothing another child because he/she wasn't feeling well or missed his/her mom. I also have 2 other mommy friends with kids in Scarlett's room and they also concur that the daycare is great. So despite the feeling of guilt of "abandoning" her, I reassured myself that she's going to be ok.
I had forgotten to pack her milk this morning so I had to go home, get the milk, and drop it off again at daycare. When I got back half an hour later and slipped the milk through the door to one of her daycare providers, she sounded fine and was participating in storytime.

A New Meaning to Being Old

Now that baby #2 is entering the second trimester, we've entered the timeframe for prenatal genetic tests. Unlike our parents generation, there are various screening tests and diagnostic (more invasive) tests available now to detect birth defects or genetic disorders before the baby is born so that an informed decision can be made about whether a couple wants to bear the "burden" of having a child with genetic disorders or birth defects. I just had a prenatal genetic test done this morning called nuchal translucency ultrasound. Its main advantages are that it predicts the baby's odds of having Down's Syndrome or trisomy 18 or spina bifida. We did a similar one for Scarlett before she was born but it seemed less "scary" back then just because I was younger and definitely felt healthier. Well, now that I'm 35 years old, I've fallen into the bracket of "advanced maternal age", as indicated by the checkbox on my appointment form. I never thought of myself that way but it just makes me sound REALLY old. I still remember thinking that 30 years old was old and I definitely started feeling "old" (both physically and mentally) after having Scarlett but this brings a new dimension to my feeling of "oldness".
During our genetic counseling session, I was looking at the chart this morning of the odds of having a child with Down's syndrome or trisomy 18 based on age and it was rather depressing. Of course this chart doesn't factor in personal information (such as family history of genetic disorders or blood test results of protein/hormone levels) but the odds based strictly on age was not uplifting. The odds for Down Syndrome given my age now, compared to when I was pregnant with Scarlett, doubled! I also looked at the odds for mothers in their early 40's (I have a couple of mommy friends who are in this age bracket and are expecting another one this year) and it's rather scary! I'm a little rusty with my math sometimes but those odds are 1 in 34. Even though that's only ~3%, "1 in every 34 children" still sounds scary.
Well, after that depressing genetic counseling session, I had my ultrasound and the measurements and my blood test changed my overall odds for a Down's Syndrome baby to 1 in 3400. That definitely sounded much better, compared to 1 in 134 for people my age.

Family

It has become customary for us to not visit my side of the family during Thanksgiving and Christmas. We have traditionally spent them with my husband's side of the family until this year when we decided to spend Christmas at home with just the three of us. For reasons that I won't get into, my husband has decided that we should spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family and Chinese New Year with my family. So it was after Christmas when Scarlett and I went down to LA to visit my family for a short two-day visit. Aside from Chinese New Year, visiting my family has been more random and not always scheduled during particular times of the year. Scarlett has probably seen my family about 5-6 times in her life. Since Scarlett's daycare is shut-down between Christmas and New Year's, I decided to take Scarlett (hubby has to work) down to LA to see my family.

The visits almost always end up being the same: I usually look forward to going but it usually ends up being anti-climatic. There's a reason that I book the trip for only a few days. My parents work 7 days a week and there's usually not much for Scarlett to do there. This latest trip was no different. I want Scarlett to know my parents and brothers better but the only way to really hang out with my parents is to be at their liquor store. In order to maintain some consistency for Scarlett's sleeping/eating schedule, I try to stay at my parents' house. So we see my mom during the morning when she spends 2-3 hours cooking lunch and dinner for us. After lunch, she's off to the store. We get a glimpse of my dad in the morning before he leaves to open the store. They don't get home until midnight - way past our bedtime. My younger brother had to work so we didn't see much of him either. My older brother took some days off so he was around to hang out and lend us his car when necessary. My older brother doesn't exactly know how to play with little kids so Scarlett has no interest in him. That leaves Scarlett and myself in a big house with nothing for her to do. Since Scarlett is the only grandchild so far, she has no cousins to play with either. Thus, except for enjoying going up and down the stairs in my parents' house, Scarlett was bored, missed her dad, and couldn't wait to get home. We did visit my parents' store but there's only so much we can do there. Now that she knows about candy, she wanted to open and eat every candy she saw. So my mom bribed her with a container of M&M's and suddenly, Scarlett started liking and playing with my mom. My dad, on the other hand, tried to talk to her by speaking Spanish to her (because he knows that she learns Spanish at daycare) but she just clammed up and hid behind me. So two short days later, we're happy to be back home and back in time to go to a New Year's Eve party hosted by a mommy friend where Scarlett got to run around with 7 other 2-year-olds. I was both sad to leave LA so soon but glad at the same time because Scarlett and I were driving each other crazy with nothing to do at my parents' house. I'm already looking forward to going to LA again in Feb. for Chinese New Year but at least this time, all three of us will be down there.