Sharing a Room

I can't believe that it's almost Christmas again. It felt like we just had Christmas not too long ago. It was last Thanksgiving when we informed family of Elliot's future arrival and that didn't seem so long ago. I feel like my 30's is going to flash by and before I know it, I'll be turning 40.

Everyday seems to slip by so fast and on most days, my husband and I just feel like we're run ragged from it all. Between getting the kids to daycare, running errands, trying to get as much billable work done as I can, pumping (which takes 1 1/2 hours of my day), walking the dog, and making dinner before picking up the kids, I rarely have time to do any leisure activity (i.e., exercise). Some days, I think to myself, "I'll leave perusing for Christmas gifts online for after dinner, or I'll leave returning personal emails for after dinner." Ha! That almost never happens. As soon as I pick up the kids, the snow ball effect happens. It's usually dinner with Scarlett (husband is still at work on most weekdays) while Elliot entertains himself in the swing (if he's not tired and crying, which is half of the time), clean up, put on her Dora TV show, put Elliot down for his evening nap and feed him while husband gives Scarlett her bath and her bedtime routine. When Scarlett goes down, Elliot is usually up from his 1/2 hour nap and so husband and I take turns taking a shower, one of us does the dishes, entertain Elliot for a short while, then it's Elliot's last feed of the day. At that point, my husband gives him the bottle, while I pump. Then he puts Elliot down and we scramble to get in bed.

In the middle of the night, it's like a 2-pronged attack from the two kids. Right before Thanksgiving, Scarlett had been waking up around midnight or 2am, while Elliot had been waking up around midnight, 2, 3, 4, or 5am. They don't both wake up at the same time of course. It's like Army boot camp hazing where they wake you at all different hours and see if you can function well. Luckily, Scarlett hasn't been waking up in the middle of the night recently.

The Monday after Thanksgiving, we moved Elliot into his crib in Scarlett's bedroom. That first night worked beautifully. Hubby was out for a business dinner and somehow, I was able to put Elliot in his crib without him waking up or Scarlett waking up. By the time hubby got home, both kids were asleep. Unfortunately, it all went downhill from there. Once Scarlett found out that her brother finally moved into her room, she started staying up after her bedtime waiting for him. Her bedtime is at 8pm while Elliot doesn't usually go down for the night until sometime between 9:30-10ish. So by the time we put Elliot down, she's still awake, which leads to waking Elliot up if he's asleep, or vice versa, if Scarlett, on the rare occasions, falls asleep first. With the start of winter and Elliot being in daycare, he's been sick and has been sleeping in our bed in the last couple of nights. I always find it amusing that I know exactly when our newspaper gets delivered (4:20am, 5:10am,...). Not because I'm a light sleeper but because I'm awake sitting on the glider chair with Elliot in the early morning. It's been a month since Elliot moved into Scarlett's room and I'm still waiting for them to get used to it and not disturb each other's sleep (and our sleep).

Continuing the Christmas Myth

This year's Christmas did not kick off well. I bought some books for Elliot and Scarlett for Christmas and didn't have the chance to wrap it. So I put them in my office thinking that Scarlett won't see it. Well, the other day, she went in there with her dad and happen to spot them. So the next morning she asked to look at them. I had to steer her away and talk her out of it. So I wrapped them while she was at preschool and set them under the Christmas tree but later, I realized that she recognizes the Christmas wrapping paper, which resides in her closet. So I thought for sure she knew that those presents were from me and not Santa.

This morning, on our drive to preschool/daycare, she asked, "mama, how is Santa going to come to our house?"
"Through the chimney," I said.
"But we don't have a chimney," she said.
(Hmm, she's too sharp...) "You're right, we don't have a chimney. Maybe I'll ask Santa."
So she said, "Maybe he will come through the door to our living room."
"Well, how would he get through the door? Maybe I can give him a key," I suggested.

I guess she still believes in Santa...

The Bag Lady Strikes Again!

Letting Go

This is the last week that I will have Elliot home all day with me. The last almost-3.5 months have passed by fast. Since I'm a self-employed consultant, I don't have a "maternity leave" but I plan to start working again beginning November. I inquired about the cost of having both kids in daycare this past week (it's another mortgage!) and refreshed my memories again on what I needed to bring for little Elliot to daycare. It saddened me so much to think about having to take him to daycare. It seems so unfair that the first 3 months was so difficult and challenging with the sleepless nights and hours of bouncing/rocking him to sleep and now that the newborn haze has started to clear a bit and he's just starting to get a bit more fun to be around and less work to deal with, I have to ship him to daycare. Since I'm self-employed, I suppose I could push it off a bit longer but I've gotta start working again while there's still work coming in. It's the nature of the business: feast or famine. Scarlett was about 3.5 months old when I went back to work. Yet, it still kills me to have to take him to daycare. He's recently started laughing, talking, and of course, putting himself to sleep by sucking his thumb. Why can't I start off with having him in daycare the first 3 months and then spend the following 3 months at home with him?

My Daughter the Bag Lady

My 3 year old daughter seems to have a tendency to hoard things. I don't know where she gets it from. I'm a little bit of a pack rat but I don't think I hoard things too much. She likes to dump all her toys (play kitchen items, anything she's been playing with recently, all her easter egg shells, her stuff animals, her lovies...) into her shopping cart and push it around. That's her "playing." So my husband and I call her the Bag Lady.

Recently, I went to a used-children's clothing/and everything else sale and I bought her a bunch of dresses, a Dora rolling backpack, a giant stuffed Tigger, rain boots, and a penguin toy. For several days, she would take all of those things and put it in a pile next to where ever she was sitting: on the living rug, behind her high chair at the dining table while eating, in her bedroom... you get the picture. Well, her baby brother only got a few pieces of clothing and a bag of train blocks. She saw those blocks and acknowledged that they were her brother's but she still hoarded it. To this day, they're still in her Dora backpack, where she stashed it. Everytime I take them out and put them aside, she puts them right back in there. I don't know why. It can't be jealousy, because I bought her way more stuff than for her brother.

Unsolved Mysteries

There are a few things that I wonder about but will probably never get the answer on:

1) Scarlett does not like to eat the crust on her bread (I guess that's not that uncommon). But even though I cut the crust off for her, she still eats her bread as if there's crust on it (and leaves the border piece uneaten). Why does she do that?


2) when Elliot was two months, I noticed when I'm cutting his nails, there looks like dirt under his nails. Where did that come from? It's not like he's crawling yet or touches anything remotely dirty.

Sleep Training Elliot

Sleep training is one of the more painful things for parents. Most parents can't stand to listen to their babies cry. Other babies crying is just annoying when it's loud and non-stop. Your own baby crying is heart-breaking. We hated sleep training Scarlett. But with her, the sleep training was different. When she was an infant, we didn't really need to sleep train her, mostly because she found her thumb around 3 months of age and was able to put herself to sleep sucking it. Aside from the times when she was sick (which means all bets are off), she was a good sleeper in general. The first time we sleep trained her was when she figured out how to stand up in her crib and wouldn't go to sleep. I remember sitting outside her bedroom listening to her cry. (She wasn't the only one crying.) It just about killed me. Then we had to sleep train her to sleep in her crib instead of our bed. I guess with little kids, one has to constantly go through sleep training.
Now, with Elliot, we're revisiting the sleep training pains again. He's tough to put down for both naps and bedtime. He can't fall asleep unless we rock/sway/bounce him. I remember when I had Scarlett, my mom told me not to rock her to sleep or she will get used to it. I thought about what she said again after Elliot was born. I decided that it was a ridiculous advice, even though it made perfect sense. I wouldn't have rocked him to sleep if he would just fall asleep by himself. Plus, babies are used to being bounced around for 10 months in the womb so it makes perfect sense that the rocking comforts them. So now, Elliot is addicted to being rocked to sleep. I've tried using a pacifier but he's only lukewarm to the idea. Most of the time, he's not interested in it. I got frustrated by how much time and effort it took to put him to sleep so I decided that he needs to be sleep trained. Also, I'm trying to cut down his night wakings before we move him to Scarlett's bedroom. The plan was to let him cry it out starting last Thursday night when he wakes up around 1-2am, since I don't feed him at this time anyway. Miraculously, he slept from 10pm to 6am that night. He must have heard me talking about the plan to sleep train him. Friday night, he woke up at 1:30am but went back to sleep after fussing for a few minutes. Saturday night, he didn't wake up until 3:30am, which was about time to feed him anyway. Then on Sunday, a monumental thing happened (and we've been waiting so long for this): he found his thumb and figured out how to put it in his mouth consistently! Just like his sister, he's a thumb sucker. I'm not going to complain. If that's his way of putting himself to sleep, I'm perfectly happy with that. How many adults do you know that still sucks his/her thumb? Not too many, I would imagine. But how many adults do you know that has problems falling asleep. I know at least one.

The last two days have been great. I've been able to put him down in his crib or on our bed and he would fuss a little, suck his thumb, and fall asleep. Let's hope this continues.

There's No Shame in Costco

People who know us know that my husband and I are a little on the food-snobby side. We like to cook gourmet foods when we have the time (which is non-existent in the last several months) and we typically eschew eating at fast-food places like Jack-in-the-Box. It's not about buying the most expensive foods. It's about eating foods that taste good, is good for you in general, is fresh, isn't highly processed with a gazillion ingredients and some that one can't even pronounce, and has a lot of nutrients. It's an added bonus if it's grown locally and hasn't created a giant carbon footprint by being flown in from half-way around the world when we can get it locally (foods such as bananas are exceptions since it's not grown locally). Unfortunately, eating this way isn't always the cheapest, nor is it the most easiest to prepare. Before Elliot was born, I was still able to get dinner together without resorting to eating out all the time or eating fast foods. I took pride in the fact that we had home-cooked meals most of the time (even if it's a simple pasta dish) and ate ready-made meals only occasionally. We would typically have frozen ravioli on a Thursday or Friday night when I'm tired of having cooked all week. Or occasionally, we would have frozen burritos for weekend lunches.

Well, our life is different now with an infant and a preschooler. We've had the luxury of having dinner dropped off to us by our caring friends, family, and neighbors for the past month and a half. Now that the dinner tree has ended, I find myself thinking of ways to put dinner on the table with minimal effort, especially since it's unpredictable whether or not I would be spending the whole day holding a fussy Elliot. So last Friday, as I was shopping at Costco, I found myself buying up pre-made meals that only require heating. Butter chicken? We love Indian food! Beef braised in zinfandel? That sounds like something we used to make but don't have time for anymore. The ingredient lists aren't exceptionally long and it says it's minimally processed. That's good, right? Throw those in the shopping cart!

Maybe some day soon, we can go back to making short-ribs braised in wine, but for now, anything easy is the best bet for dinner.

Baby of the Family

I'm now starting to realize why the last child is often the "baby" of the family. We've always wanted two kids and now that we have Elliot, I know that he's the "last" one. The first seven weeks hasn't been easy so far. In fact, I felt cheated. (I don't know who I'm supposed to complain to.) Everyone has said that the second one is usually mellower/easier. They almost have to be because the first child demands so much attention. But Elliot hasn't been easier compared to Scarlett. Not that Scarlett was an easy baby but Elliot is even more difficult. Aside from his need to eat so often, he's also fussier. He has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. There were many days where I spent hours rocking/shushing/swaying him to get him to fall asleep or stay asleep. He would typically fall asleep after a long time of rocking/shushing/swaying and then wake up again after 5 minutes and I would have to do it all over again. On those days, my wrists would hurt from being held in awkward postures, my back would hurt, and my lips would be tired from shushing. I would feel so frustrated that I felt like throwing him out the window. Amidst all this, I would try and remind myself that he's the last one so I need to treasure the moments. He's only seven weeks old but it seems like time has flown by so quickly. Those cute little feet and the intoxicating baby smell won't last for long. So on my bad days, I will try and savor the good little things about having a baby as we all know that those moments are so fleeting.

Having Two is AT LEAST Twice the Work

Whoever said that having a second child isn't that much work must have been in la-la land. Sometimes, I don't know how our parents did it with three kids. Having two small kids isn't easy. We were already warned by our mommy friends who've already had two (or three). The first month after having Elliot was the toughest. We separated the duties: my husband managed Scarlett mostly, and I managed Elliot (not that I could've passed him off anyway since I had to breastfeed him). It was rough for me because Elliot ate almost every hour during the daytime and cluster-fed (ate every 1/2 hour) during the evenings. Most people say that newborns eat about 8-12 times a day. Mine ate 18-20 times a day. I'm surprised that my nipples haven't fallen off already. My husband had it rough too: Scarlett had a lot of meltdowns (more than usual) and was very defiant. So she was very difficult to manage too. We were lucky that our mommy friends and our neighbors brought us dinners (mostly home-cooked) every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We usually had enough leftovers that spilled into Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't know how we would have survived without that - maybe order take-out everyday? Our in-laws also helped us out greatly by visiting many weekends and playing with Scarlett. They also brought us a lot of meals. So even with all of that, we were in survival mode the first month. I remember one of the evenings, I was getting dinner ready that a mommy friend made for us. All I had to do was toss a salad and get the dinner out of the oven and plate it. Brian wasn't home from work yet, Elliot was crying, and Scarlett was demanding her dinner right away. It stressed me out!

Elliot is seven weeks old now and he's gotten a bit better: slightly less fussy and eating about 8-11 times a day now. Scarlett has also gotten better and throws much less fits. But I'm still scared of the thought of having to have dinner on the table. I'm sure I'll figure it out. After all, how do other people do it?

Boys are Different

I knew that having a boy meant having to deal with getting peed on when changing diapers. That was not an issue with Scarlett. During the first few weeks, I was proud of myself for not getting peed on while changing Elliot's diapers. Then it happened to me, while changing his diaper in the bassinet. Since the changing table is in Scarlett's room, we have to change Elliot's diapers in his bassinet, which is a really bad idea but we were too cheap to buy another one. So he sprayed pee all over his bassinet. Oh, and he pooped too, before I got his clean diaper on him. It's almost systematic: he first surprises you with the pee, then while you're distracted, he poops. Yesterday, it happened again - it was sad but funny. As I was cleaning him, he peed all over his face (poor thing). Nice aim, kiddo! While I tried to wipe his face with a diaper wipe, which freaked him out, he pooped all over the changing table, and peed some more. Wow, I don't ever remember having so much drama with changing Scarlett's diapers.

The Many Faces of Elliot

Proportions

Until Elliot came, Scarlett was always our baby and we were used to seeing her as our little one. Now that we have Elliot, Scarlett seem so big now. Even though Scarlett is almost 3 years old, our image of her grew with her as she grew. So we never thought of her as "big" (even though she says that almost every day: "I'm a big girl now... I'm growing bigger"). Now, when I get Scarlett dressed or sit next to her, I see how long her legs are (compared to Elliot's tiny ones). This morning, as she went out the door with her dad to go to daycare, she was jogging alongside him with her daycare bag on her back. I couldn't get over how big she looked - she looked like a school girl heading off to school.

Labor and Delivery the Second Time Around

My husband and I joked about how we wouldn't know what it's like for me to go into labor at 2am in the morning because Scarlett was 11 days late and induced to come out. This time around, I did go into labor naturally, albeit 4 days past the due date. Surprisingly, the timing was fairly manageable, even though second ones tend to come out faster. Last Wednesday, I started having some contractions in the morning but they went away. I had suspected that something would happen soon, although, I did manage to catch a matinee movie in the afternoon with a few mommy friends. Regular contractions came Wednesday evening and I mentally prepared my husband and myself for labor. With that in mind, my husband worked until midnight as he tried to wrap up work. I tried to go to bed early to get some rest in preparation for labor. Unfortunately, it was impossible for me to sleep. So I got up and stayed in the living room to time my contractions. By 4:30 in the morning, I think I can legitimately check into the hospital with 2 hours worth of contractions 3-5 minutes apart. But I wanted to let Scarlett sleep some more so I waited. My husband got up around 5:30am because he felt too guilty for sleeping and was worried about me. We decided to leave for the hospital around 6:30a and dropped Scarlett off at her daycare (they were very accommodating about taking her whenever I went into labor). I checked into the hospital at 6:50am and Elliot was born at 2:29pm. This was shorter than the first time when I had Scarlett. But it was a world of a difference: labor with Scarlett was induced with Pitocin and I got the epidural to manage the pain. With Elliot, my water also didn't break beforehand but I didn't get the epidural. It was nice to be able to walk around and not be confined to my hospital bed before and after delivery but it felt like I went to hell and back. I was on the fence about getting the epidural but I did not prepare for childbirth like I did the first time. I just read through the pamphlets from the childbirth class we took when I was pregnant with Scarlett. We did not prepare any methods for managing the pain. So given that, my husband was surprised that I stuck with not getting an epidural. Luckily, it only took 10 minutes of pushing to get Elliot out.

The Three of Us No More

Well, my due date came and went and baby #2 is still not here yet. It's no surprise though since Scarlett was 11 days late. As I wait for the arrival of #2, I'm thinking about how our life will never be the same. As I laid in Scarlett's bed waiting for her to fall asleep, I thought about the time alone that I'm spending with her. Soon enough, it will never be the same: it will no longer be the 3 of us. I don't mean to imply that the arrival of the 2nd one is unwanted (as that is not the case); it's just that this is the life we've been accustomed to for the past, almost three years. It's weird to think about how it will never be just about Scarlett anymore as there will be the two of them to think of now. Will I love the second one as much as I love Scarlett? It's hard to imagine sometimes - I'm sure I will but it's hard to imagine at this point.

Root Cause Analysis

In my profession, root cause analysis is a frequently used tool to investigate the real cause of a workplace accident. For example, the worker slipped and fell on a large puddle in the middle of the production floor and broke his ankle. A shallow investigation would have simply said the worker was not being careful and thus, slipped and injured himself. A more detailed investigation would have asked why the puddle was on the flor in the first place. Well, the mixing tank nearby leaked and created the puddle of liquid. Why did the mixing tank leak? It was only 300 liters and the workers filled it with 350 liters of liquid the day before. Why did they overfill it? Well, the standard operating procedure indicated 350 liters. So it was an incorrect procedure that needs to be changed to prevent this kind of accident from happening again, instead of just telling the worker to be more careful next time.

This type of digging doesn't quite work as well when kids use it. Scarlett has gotten into asking questions that are like root cause analysis but they simply drive me nuts. Yesterday, after we left daycare, I took her to downtown Mountain View to see some live music. As soon as I deviated from our usual path home, she asked, "why are we going this way?" I replied, "we're going to downtown Mountain View." "Where is downtown Mountain View?" she asked. "Downtown Mountain View is this way," I pointed in the direction of where we were going. "Why is downtown Mountain View this way?" she queried further. Yikes, enough with the questions already!

Here's another example: She asks about where her friend Lacey lives. I tell her that she lives in Los Altos. She then asks, "where is Los Altos?" So I tell her, "well, Los Altos is next to Mountain View." So she asks, "Why is it next to Mountain View?" (Well, it just is, inquisitive little one!)

Scarlett's First Fireworks

This July 4th weekend has been a busy one. Scarlett attended one of her friend's birthday parties on Saturday and on Sunday, we went to the beach in Santa Cruz in the morning and went to see fireworks at Shoreline Amphitheatre in the evening. Even though the fireworks show would happen after her bedtime, we thought that it'd be fun for her to see it, since she's probably old enough this year to not be scared of it. I got us some free tickets to the show, which was only available to 2000 Mountain View residents. We met up with a couple mommy friends at the amphitheatre and had lawn seating, which was great for allowing the kids to run around. There were small activities/entertainment hosted by Radio Disney throughout the evening and the San Francisco Symphony came on at 8pm. We just about never see cultural events anymore so it was nice to listen to the symphony, and for free!

The only time Scarlett has seen fireworks was from our hotel window when we were in Niagara Falls last summer. And she only saw a couple light up that time. So she has no idea how loud it can be. Scarlett did not like the loud noise of the fireworks last night but she really enjoyed watching it. So she watched the entire fireworks show with her hands over her ears and a grimace on her face. But every time the fireworks paused, she would ask for more. Seeing her experience it made it all worth it... until we had to leave. It was 10:30pm by the time we got to our car in the parking lot. And with everyone trying to leave, we basically sat in the parking lot for an hour before we got out. Since the amphitheatre was about 3 miles away from our house, we could have walked home in that time. We would have biked to the show if I wasn't 39 weeks pregnant. As we sat in our car, we wondered if it was worth going to the show. It's not the same to watch fireworks from afar but was it worth sitting in bumper to bumper car traffic for an hour trying to get home when it was way past her bedtime? We got home around 11:45pm and luckily, Scarlett went back to sleep right after we moved her from her carseat. Next year, we'll have to devise another strategy to catch the fireworks show.

Stumped

It never occurred to me that Scarlett would wonder about the birth of her baby brother. She's flipped through the pictures of me in the hospital and pictures of her from the hospital numerous times but this was the first time she asked. While playing with her water table in the backyard yesterday afternoon, she suddenly asked me, "Mama, how is my baby brother going to come out of your belly?" I was taken by surprise and so I didn't have an answer for her. So I just smiled at her and she went back to playing with her water table. I guess I better think about what to say should she ask again.

Counting Down

It's amusing to see people's reactions when I tell them when I'm due. Last Saturday, at my friend's wedding, everyone who asked and got the response, "two weeks" acted surprised that I'm still out and about. Tonight, I stopped by a professional peers' gathering at a local bar & grill and when I told people that my due date is in 10 days, one person asked if anyone knew CPR - in case I go into labor right then and there and he passes out. Well, I guess I'm not as concerned as other people because I'm anticipating this one to be late too, like Scarlett was, or so my OB told me. But, I finally dug up my pamphlets this afternoon on labor and delivery from classes we took during the first pregnancy to refresh my mind and mentally prepare for what to expect.

As I start preparing for the inevitable, I've also ramped up Scarlett's time in daycare from part-time to full-time. She started going 5-days a week this week and it felt strange to me. I feel somewhat guilty that I'm not spending time with her since I'm used to spending my Thursdays and Fridays with her. Especially with the second one coming in about 2 weeks, I want to spend as much time with her as I can. Yet, my mommy friends advised me that having her full-time in daycare allows me to relax and get some rest while I still can. I seem to always have trouble with that -I can't seem to allow myself to relax when I can find something (work/chore/errands) to fill my time. And if I do, I feel guilty for doing it. So I will hang out with Scarlett tomorrow instead of dropping her off at daycare. She has gotten into the habit of asking me or my husband, "what are we doing/where are we going after my nap" (which usually means what are we doing tomorrow). She's gotten used to going to storytime at the library on Thursdays, going to cooking class on Fridays, and going to soccer class on Saturday mornings for the last 2 months. Storytime sessions has ended a few weeks ago and all her classes are over. I didn't sign her up for any more classes in preparation for the birth of the second one. So tonight, when she hollered for me to go to her room since she couldn't fall asleep, she asked me "where are we going after my nap? Cooking class? Storytime?" I felt sad telling her that both are over now and there's no more activities planned for her. It was nice to have those mommy-and-me events on a regular basis. So I will spend my day with her tomorrow and try to get all the mother-daughter time I can get.

Scarlett's "Third" Birthday

I think we had a successful birthday party for Scarlett yesterday. Even though it was pretty hot and rather humid, I think both kids and parents enjoyed the party overall. Scarlett seemed to have enjoyed it too. So maybe all the attention she received yesterday can be carried over to the first few weeks after her baby brother is born... yea right, silly me.

Surprisingly, she didn't realize the trick we pulled on her of having her birthday on a not-her-birthday date. Of course she doesn't know when it's supposed to occur since she's only 2 years old but somehow, all the kids at her preschool know the chronological order of each other's birthdays. Their preschool teacher must have talked about their birthdays in relation to the monthly calendar. I've had a few parents from her preschool tell me that their kid insisted that it's not Scarlett's birthday next (it's Caleb's birthday) when they were told that they're going to Scarlett's party this past weekend. Luckily, Scarlett didn't put those pieces together, but it's amazing how much toddlers learn nowadays.

So given that I'm 2.5 weeks away from my due date, I figured that throwing a very simple birthday party for Scarlett at our house would suffice (and be cheaper and less work for us). (Originally, I was thinking about having her birthday at a bowling alley.) We even chose to serve hamburgers and hot dogs, which should be relatively easy and cheap. But somehow, it was still a good deal of work and a lot of money. We did hire a "clown" (he didn't dress up as a clown in fear of scaring young children) sinc we were worried that just having a bunch of 2-3 year olds play in our backyard isn't entertaining enough anymore at their age. The "clown" (Silly Ricky) juggled for half an hour and gave the kids custom-made balloons and the kids seemed to have liked it. The take home balloons also served as the "party favor" since I decided not to give out party favors this year (that's a topic for another blog). Well, my husband ended up slaving over the hot grill during the party cooking up the hamburgers and hot dogs when originally, he thought that he could just cook up the food an hour before the party and be able to relax during the party. I thought that serving a fruit salad and potato salad as sides would be easy too. Well, my mother-in-law ended up slaving in the kitchen the night before to help make the salad. Of course it didn't help that we had a friend's wedding to attend on Saturday afternoon but there really wasn't another weekend to throw Scarlett a party. In any case, when the first kid showed up at our door a few minutes early, I was still yelling at Scarlett to get her sunscreen on and haven't finished setting the food table yet. But as the party got underway, the stress went away and Scarlett fully realized that the entire party was about her. She reveled in the fact that it was her birthday (without acting like a spoiled brat) and even answered the "clown" when asked who's birthday it was. After the last kid left and Scarlett was down for her nap, it didn't take us too long to clean up with the in-laws' great help. But I was still exhausted.

Post party/nap, Scarlett was excited to open her presents. But surprisingly, like everything else she eats (desserts, candy, ice cream, etc.), she self-limits. She opened about half of her presents and didn't want to open anymore of them. So the other half sat there until this morning when she opened the rest of them. We haven't even given her the presents from her "baby brother" yet. Maybe we'll save those for the day that he comes home from the hospital.

Latest Indulgence

As I near the end of my pregnancy, I find myself indulging in desserts frequently. Before I was pregnant, I rarely ate desserts. I probably average once every month or two in terms of having desserts. But I ate desserts more frequently when I was pregnant with Scarlett (those daily gelatos in Italy while pregnant with Scarlett were wonderful memories) and have so since. This pregnancy is even worse. I even make my own desserts now, sometimes. I think I've gone through 8 sticks of butter in the last two months (for baking) and that's an unprecedented rate for me. Well, my latest indulgence is popsicles. For a while, it was Haagen Daz ice cream bars that I'd have once a week or so. Now, I'm eating popsicles almost every day. These are not the healthy fruit popsicles that you're probably thinking about. They're probably somewhere in the middle between ice cream bars and fruit popsicles on their bad-for-you scale. I get them from the Mexican market down the street from us. I think my husband first turned me on to them when he bought some for us all a month ago when Scarlett's grandparents were visiting. They come in flavors like horchata, aqua de coco, tamarind, vanilla, pineapple, etc.

They remind me of my childhood summer days spent at my parent's liquor store. They had a freezer full of different ice cream/popsicles and we would have one every day on hot summer days. They had stuff like orange creamsicles, strawberry shortcake popsicles, push-up sorbet sticks, tri-flavored popsicle, etc. You don't typically find these in the supermarket's packaged ice cream novelties. Sometimes I wonder if I'm edging myself closer to gestational diabetes, even though I tested negative for it at the beginning of my third trimester.

Progress Before Birth of Second Child

It seemed like it was a bit less than a month ago when we were still experiencing frequent temper tantrums from Scarlett. Well, like many behaviors that have come and gone quickly, her temper tantrums appear to have abated recently (knock on wood). For the past month or so, Scarlett seems to be in a happier mood in general, throws less tantrums, and even plays by herself a bit more now. I never thought I'd get to this point: after all, one of the many reasons we decided to have a second child was so that she would have someone else to play with besides me/us all the time. During my non-working days, it's always been more taxing because she needs me to play/pay attention to her almost every minute. Now, I'm often amazed by how well she's able to play by herself. I can actually wash the dishes or prepare dinner (sometimes) and she would be happy playing with her kitchen or her other toys. Hopefully, it will stay this way after her baby brother is here and I have much less time to spend with her.

On the eating front, she is still very picky and a finicky eater but she has gotten a little bit better in her willingness to eat certain foods. In the last two weeks, she has actually eaten bacon and chicken, when she usually never eats meat (with the exception of ham and hot dog). She also ate 5 broccoli florets in one meal and she usually never touches vegetables. I can't get her to repeat those preferences every meal but hey, it's progress!


Lastly, She's made so much progress in the potty training department. The difference is almost night and day. She started potty-training last Oct. and even though she's been potty-trained with regards to pee-peeing, pooping has been a whole other story. Because she's been constipated her entire solid-eating life, we've struggled with this one since the potty training started. I won't gross you out but my husband and I were very tired of running to the potty with her up to 20 times a day (mostly false alarms) and washing many poopy underwears each day. Ever since we got back from Hawaii and we greatly increased her daily dose of Miralax, she's been just about perfect with going to the potty. She's no longer constipated (and the potty-training and constipation issue go hand-in-hand). I think I've probably handwashed one underwear in the last two months. You wouldn't believe how happy my husband and I are over not having to deal with this issue anymore.

Well, let's hope none of these things regress after the second one is born.

Almost 3rd Birthday

Well, birthday party season has officially started. We've already attended two of Scarlett's preschool friends' birthday parties and our summer calendar has already been dotted with all of her friends' birthdays from our mommy group. Now that Scarlett is almost 3 years old, with every party that she attends, she's quite aware that her birthday is coming soon, even though she doesn't know exactly when. Unfortunately, her baby brother is due to come out and share her world a month before her birthday. We already know that we won't have the energy to throw her a birthday party so we decided that we will have her birthday party before her brother is born, so that she doesn't feel cheated out of her birthday celebration. We decided to throw her a birthday party on June 27th and invite all her friends. We haven't told her about it yet but I'm sure we will a few days before the party. I'm leaning towards telling her that June 27th is her birthday this year (not that she even knows the days and months of the year). So do we still wish her happy birthday when her true birthday rolls around on August 17?

Oh, The Things She Says

We were having dinner tonight and I actually got Scarlett to try bacon. She almost never eats meat but she was willing to try it tonight and enjoyed eating the bacon pieces that were in our pasta. As she was chewing it, she said, "eating bacon makes my face happy." If she only knew that many people live by that.

Yesterday morning, Scarlett woke up at 6:40am and came into our bedroom. I pretened to still be asleep, hoping that she would go back to her room. But she just stood there so after a few minutes, I turned around and looked at her. She said, "mama, it's bright outside. That means, that means, that I have to get up." It's funny how simple their logic is, when they have it sometimes. If only I agreed with her.

Here's a picture that I have never seen until last Sunday, at our friend's BBQ: Scarlett chowing down on meat like a carnivore. She ate as if I haven't fed her in 3 days!

A Parent's Worst Nightmare

What's wrong with this picture?

Forecasted to be another hot day, we went to a BBQ at a mommy's friend's house. They had a pool and suggested people bring their swimsuits for swimming if desired. They would also run the sprinklers for kids to play. I brought my swimsuit in case it got so miserably hot and brought several change of clothes for Scarlett. We've been to their house many times before and their pool is usually surrounded by a see-through fence. After we got there, I stepped out into the backyard to see a bunch of dads sitting at the table drinking beer and several toddlers sitting by the pool wading their legs in the water. My fear alarm immediately went up. Who's watching these kids??? The pool was wide open with no fence in sight. Seeing them sitting by the pool made me really nervous. So I kept my eye on my daughter as she imitated everything that the other kids did: wading her legs in the pool, running after each other around the edge of the pool, and just having a grand ol' time. I know that I'm an overprotective parent in general but I was not happy at all seeing a bunch of semi-coordinated toddlers run around the pool. My daughter trips just walking on grass sometimes, let alone running around the edge of the pool. So the party progressed with various adults watching the toddlers at one time or another. I only let my guard down when I knew that my husband was watching Scarlett. Overall, the party went well. There would be the occasional break-up of tugs over toys next to the pool lest one of them lost the fight and land backwards into the pool or the occasional yelling for some toddler to stop throwing toys/sand into the pool. But then, one toddler fell into the pool. She has been taking swim lessons all summer and I don't know if that factored in at all but she fell in, bobbed up and immediately grabbed for the pool ledge. Her parents came running out but didn't seem overly alarmed. Then some dads got into the pool because some of the toddlers wanted to jump into the pool. Scarlett wanted none of that - she wouldn't get past knee-deep into water unless it was bath water temperature. We were happy about that because neither my husband or I wanted to get into the cool pool. Later on, after we had a surprise baby shower for the 4 pregnant mommies, including myself, everyone was having a good time when my husband and I walked over to the edge of the yard to look at the vegetable garden. I could've sworn that Scarlett was on the grass area playing toys with her friends when we walked past her. It must have been only a few minutes when the next thing I knew, I heard a commotion, turned my head towards to pool, saw Scarlett floating face-down in the pool next to the edge, and a parent running over to grab her out of the pool, all in a matter of nanoseconds, it seemed. She was of course horrified and crying as my husband and I ran over to hold and examine her. She seemed fine except for the fact that she was completely freaked out. Luckily, it seemed as if she had held her breath when she fell into the water because she wasn't even choking up water. She was back to normal after getting changed but both my husband and I were still a bit shell-shocked over what had happened: We were vigilant during the entire party except for the few minutes when we turned away to look at a vegetable garden. And it was during those minutes when she fell in. Let that be a lesson for us on the fact that we can never be over-vigilant or overprotective.

Daily Affirmations

I've noticed recently that my daughter frequently (probably on an almost daily basis) tells me that she loves me. We could be sitting on the couch reading a book or we could be standing next to each other in the living room when she randomly tells me, "mama, I love you." It often catches me by surprise because it's so random. I often forget to cherish the little things about her and really, I should cherish this while I can because I'm already expecting a difficult mother-daughter relationship as she gets older: It just seems common, especially in a Chinese culture. My relationship with my mother isn't strained but we're not the best of friends either. My siblings and I were definitely not raised in the huggy-kissy environment so already, my relationship with my daughter is very different from the way I was raised. My family doesn't show any signs of affection: there's definitely no kisses, hugs, or even the "I love you" statement, ever! We just know deep down inside that we're loved by our parents/siblings even though there's no display of it.
Although, this deeply seated conviction can be rocked sometimes, especially lately. I've begun to wonder if my parents care much about Scarlett or the second unborn grandson. Of course they do, right? But if they do, they certainly haven't shown any interest or much attention. My husband and I were raised in two totally different environments. For him, no outward signs of affection or attention means not caring. I often disagree with him, especially when it comes to my family, because I know I was not raised in a neglected/unloving environment. But lately, I've found myself adopting some of his views. I've stopped trying so hard to have Scarlett know my family because if they really cared, they would've spent more time with her when we visited or shown some interest in what she's doing now. Maybe I'm wrong about them or maybe I'm in denial most of the time but I guess only time will tell. It's funny that I have retained so much of my parent's teachings yet I'm completely different from them. I hug and kiss Scarlett goodbye every time I drop her off at daycare. I tell her "good night" and "I love you" every night at bedtime. But at the same time, I find myself expecting complete obedience from her the way my parents did with us. Maybe my parents were a little different with my siblings and I when we were toddlers as opposed to when we got older but I already feel that it's getting harder for me to justify why my family haven't shown much outward interest in Scarlett.

Big Girl Bed

We finally moved Scarlett out of her crib, into her "big girl" bed a week ago, in preparation for her baby brother's eventual use of her crib. It was something that we knew we had to do but dreaded for fear that we'll have to spend a week sleep-training her again. We've talked to her about it for a while now so she knew it was coming. However, we didn't expect the transition to be that easy. I had figured that we would set up her bed in her room but give her the choice of deciding when she wants to sleep in it. Well, she wanted to sleep in it the very first night. We dreaded her coming out of her room after being put to bed and having to continually walk her back to her bed. Surprisingly, that hasn't happened (yet). After we put her to bed, she would call for us when she needed something, as if she was still in her crib. In the morning when she woke up, she called for me, "maa-maa, maa-maa" like she always did when she was in her crib. It was quite interesting. She acted as if she was still in her crib. Well, that lasted about 5 days. I think it finally occurred to her that she can just get up and get out of her bed and room once she's done sleeping. So Saturday, after her nap, she cracked open her bedroom door and peeked out. When I heard it, I went to her room and greeted her. She then told me, "mama, I peeked out." It was quite funny. This morning, she simply came out of her room after she woke up. I guess eventually, she'll be able to feed herself breakfast and watch Saturday morning cartoons without waking us up. But I'm not quite ready for that yet, despite the fact that I hate having to get up whenever she woke up before 7am. I would hate to wake up and find a huge mess of something that she isn't supposed to do. For now though, I'll just hope that she continues to stay put in her bed after we put her to bed.

Eating for Two

Since my first pregnancy, people have been telling me that I should/can eat more since I'm "eating for two." Well, I've learned early on during my first pregnancy that what it really should mean to me is that I should eat twice as well (nutrition-wise), not twice as much. After all, a pregnant woman only needs 300 calories more than her usual intake. That's not much. That's probably 1.5 extra cans of soda (not that I drink soda), one donut, a handful of small cookies, or a few more bites of mashed potatoes. Besides, the more I put on during pregnancy means the more I'll have to try and burn off after pregnancy. I think for my first pregnancy, I was pretty good with eating well and exercising regularly. This time around, not only am I not exercising, I'm also eating more. I used to just dump out whatever Scarlett wouldn't eat (which was a lot over the past two years - enough to feed a village in Africa). It's rather wasteful but I wasn't going to eat it. But now, I find myself cleaning up her leftovers or untouched food. I feel like a garbage can sometimes. "You don't want to finish the other 1/2 of your hot dog? I'll eat it then." "You didn't finish your yogurt/strawberries/cheese/rice/etc., ok, I'll eat it." I hope I don't continue to do that after the baby is born. That post-pregnancy, back-to-exercise hill is already looking really steep right now.

Interesting Conversations

Sitting on the step stool next to Scarlett while waiting for her to potty, I looked away so that she doesn’t feel too self-conscious as she tries to go potty. Just then, she asks me, “what are you thinking about?” At first, I just said, “nothing.” Then she asks, “are you thinking about my poo-poo?” Then I said, “no, but I was thinking about how much pizza you ate last night and the big breakfast you had this morning.”

"Baa-baa! Baa-baa! I want my horsie in my bed," Scarlett yells from her room.
My husband gets up off the couch, walks to her room and says, "no, Scarlett, you can't put your horsie in your bed. Now, go to sleep."
"Baa-baa! Baa-baa! Come!" Scarlett yells again a few minutes later.
My husbant gets off the couch again, walks to her room, and says, "what?"
"Baa-baa, baa-baa, I want...I want...I want....." Scarlett stutters.
"No, you can't have it, so just go to sleep," my husband interjects, hoping to shut down her stalling attempts.
"But I haven't said what I wanted yet." Scarlett, the 2-year-old proclaims.

The Beauty Pageant is Out

Despite the fact that she isn't a totally rambunctious toddler, Scarlett has already earned her "war wounds." I never thought I'd fester over such things but I have been - her scars, but it's only because they are on her face. More than a year ago, she scratched her nose or something like that and it ended up scarring. I'm sure that one doesn't notice it upon first glance but if you stare at her nose, you can see the small scar on her nose. Then a month ago, she tripped on a gutter runner (for the rain) in our backyard and fell face-forward, knocking her head on the concrete pavement. I never thought my reactions were slow but I had watched it happen right in front of me without even trying to catch her. Naturally she wailed and as I picked her up, I noticed that her forehead was bleeding. Upon closer examination, it appeared that she had a small gash on her forehead that was a bit deep. After trying to dress it, I realized that it's deep enough to possibly scar if it didn't heal well. Since it was just after 5pm on a Friday, my first option was the urgent care clinic at the medical center where she usually sees her pediatrician. I'd rather pay a small co-pay and have her seen by a doctor than to regret it years later when her forehead is all scarred up. Being the typical over-reacting mother, we trotted off to urgent care to see if she needed stitches. Her cut had stopped bleeding and it didn't seem to bother her much but I felt a sense of urgency to get it looked at lest it turns into an ugly scar later. So after seeing the doctor and two stitches later, it turns out that it would scar anyway. But at least it would heal nicely with the stitches. According to the doctor, most people wouldn't even notice it except me. Well, the stitches have been taken out and the scab has long been gone and indeed, there is a small red scar there. Obsessed with making sure that the scar isn't permanent, I even shelled out $15 for a small tube of Mederma, which is supposed to make scars go away if applied daily for 3 months. Well, that effort has been sidetracked by this past weekend. We went camping with our mommy friends and while playing, she ended up falling off a scooter (while NOT in motion) and getting a bump on her forehead near the same spot as her scar and some road rash on her nose.

Not only do I not have the opportunity to put Mederma on her scar daily (because she insists on wearing a band-aid on her forehead), I'm now hoping that her nose doesn't scar.

Raising a Girl

I was never the girly-type of girl, having grown up sandwiched in the middle by two brothers. Dressing up, make-up, hair-do's, and manicures were/are not my forte. I haven't thought about it much until the last few months when Scarlett seems to be asserting her girly side more than ever. I got a pedicure (my first one) a couple of months ago at a spa for my friend's bachelorette party. Whenever Scarlett noticed it, she would mention that she wants her toes painted too (in blue). I thought to myself, that would be a great mother-daughter bonding thing to do, when she's a bit older. But really, I don't paint my nails so I don't own any nail polish. So maybe not. And hair? I'm terrible with that too. I rely on expensive haircuts to keep from looking too homely but aside from that, I'm only capable of doing pony-tails. So after the haircut fiasco with Scarlett's hair when she turned one, I decided not to cut her hair myself. She hasn't had her hair cut in over a year so it's grown long. She's blessed with really pretty hair that is not Chinese-limpy-straight or totally curled out: it's got small wavy curls at the end. So just a simple pony-tail looks great on her. So to keep her hair out of her face, I rely on my repertoire of pony-tails or the twin pig-tails. It's always funny (or sad, depending on how you see it) when I go and pick her up from daycare and she's got all kinds of pig-tails or braids in her hair to keep her hair tidy and out of her face. It puts my work to shame.
Lastly, she has really gotten into wearing dresses lately. I don't mind and she looks cute in them but I often have to argue with her over what to wear because she wants to wear a small skimpy dress when it's 50 degrees outside. Unless the weather outside is tropical and the wind is absolutely dead, I know that she would start whining about how cold/windy it is. So I have to talk her out of wearing a dress. On my work days, the minute we get home from daycare, she immediately wants to change into a dress. After she puts one on, she proclaims herself "pretty." It's quite endearing but I wonder if it's from her or from us telling her periodically that she's pretty. When I was in grade school, I progressively gave away my dresses to my beloved cousin until I had practically none left, much to my mom's chagrin. So it seemed funny to me that I would be raising a more-typical girl, one unlike myself. Luckily, she hasn't gotten into princesses (yet). I'm sure I can expect something completely different with her soon-to-be baby brother. There will probably be no arguments over what to wear and no giant tears that gush out whenever something doesn't quite sit right but I'm sure there will be a lot more bumps and bruises or more. At least Scarlett broke me in on that with her first urgent care visit for two stitches a month ago.

Cooking Class

Scarlett started cooking class a few weeks ago and she seems to really love it. No, I didn't sign her up so that she can become a culinary protege but more because I liked the idea of messing up someone else's kitchen so that Scarlett can "help" cook. Toddlers love to help with everything and one of the things they love to do is to help cook. Unfortunately, for an anally-clean person like me, having to clean up the kitchen after her is not all that appealing. Plus, I don't always have the time for her to "help" me cook. It takes 3 times as long and I just don't always have the patience or time for that. So I opted to pay someone to let her mess up their "kitchen." It's been a fun class so far: she's helped to make crumb cake, pizza-stuffed pretzels, strawberry shortcake, and tortilla chips with black bean salsa. She loved putting on a little apron, help crack eggs, measure out ingredients, and STIR (she loves to help stir anything). Best of all, at the end of class, the kids (and the parents) all get to eat what they've made (and we get a copy of the recipe to take home). The idea does sound scary - eating something that a bunch of 2-4 year olds made. But surprisingly, they have pretty good rules about washing hands frequently (and having parents help with the more complicated tasks). I can't say that it's fail-safe as I have been a bit grossed out by a few of the things that some kids have done (like playing and throwing the stirring spoon on the floor) but overall, it's worked out alright. Even though not every kid gets to do everything (i.e., one kid gets to crack the egg while another kid gets to measure out the sugar, etc), it does teach them to take turns. Scarlett's been pretty good about taking turns. Although, I was hoping that by helping with the cooking, she would be more willing to eat something that she normally won't try. Well, that hasn't happened yet. In the latest class, we made tortilla chips with black bean salsa. She ate the tortilla chips but wouldn't touch the black bean salsa. Oh well.

Teacher's Pet

Scarlett has been going to soccer class on Saturday mornings for a month now with her dad and she seems to really enjoy it. For how social/talkative she is, she does have a tendency to clam up when she's asked "to perform" (e.g., when asked to say something, like her name) in front of a stranger. But surprisingly, she's very interactive and vocal during her soccer class. Maybe it's because many of her friends are also in her soccer class. She always belts out the answer whenever the soccer coach asks a question. And my husband has commented that she's made the coach laugh several times. I didn't realize this as I'm usually socializing with other moms/dads on the sidelines but one of my mommy friends pointed this out to me. Her son is a week younger than Scarlett but started talking really late. Despite the fact that she's a pediatrician, it blew her mind at first how different their speaking skills were. So she commented to me that Scarlett seems really smart and always answers the coach's question. At that moment, it occurred to us that she might turn into one of those kids that everyone hates in class: the one who always raises his/her hand (and has the answer) whenever the teacher asks a question. We both joked and laughed about it. Hmm, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Do I want my child to be considered smart or a social pariah?

Temper Tantrums

The terrible two's temper tantrums never seem to go away. We've settled into cycles where Scarlett will be very pleasant (mostly tantrum-free) for a month or so. Then we'll cycle back into a period of ridiculous tantrums. The last two weeks, she seems to have gone back into throwing tantrums, and she seems to be crying a lot more than ever (aside from her infant days). It seems like anything can set her off into a crying fit. I just don't have the patience for tantrums. I try to ignore them but they can be quite annoying or paralyze our day. Just this morning, during cooking class, she got upset that I had put her apron away for storytime (while we wait for the food to cook) and started bawling and throwing a fit. Not only was it embarrassing, it was disruptive to the class. I had to take her out of the room and give her a time-out (how do you give a toddler a time-out outside a store front?) and threaten her with many things to get her to stop. None of it was pleasant and it's amazing how it got escalated into this. A few minutes later, she was okay enough to go back to class and finish storytime and eat the tortilla chips that she had helped make. But it was amazing that she was so upset that she was willing to go home (which I had threatened her with) and forgo the class.

Last night, we finally took Chloe for a walk after dinner because I couldn't convince Scarlett all day to take Chloe for a walk. The walk ended unpleasantly like many of the walks recently. We literally only got to the end of our cul-de-sac before she threw a crying fit because the "wind" was bothering her. It frustrated my husband and I because we had tied up her hair and put a jacket on her before we left the house to prevent this from happening. If she can't tolerate normal wind (not gale-force wind here) during pleasant weather, than we might as well never leave the house. Every book I've read said that tantrums like this should be ignored but it's rather impossible to walk the dog when she refuses to move an inch until we turn around and go home (which is giving in to what she wants). So what did we do? We split up and I walked home with her. As soon as we did that, she was all okay again. Sigh. Why are toddlers so difficult? Just when you think they've gotten better and gotten more mature, they seem to backslide into it again. One step forward, two steps back...

Third Trimester

On the day we left for our Hawaii trip, I also entered the third trimester of my pregnancy. Somehow, the months just flew by and now, all of a sudden, there is only 10 weeks left before the 2nd baby is due. I don't know if we're typical of other parents expecting a second child but we haven't done much at all in terms of physical or mental preparation for the second one's arrival. Unlike the first pregnancy, on most days, I couldn't remember how many weeks my pregnancy is without consulting my calendar. I think most of it is due to the fact that we've "been there and done that" so we don't have to do much in terms of preparation for his arrival. We didn't need to sign up for birthing/baby care classes nor do we need to purchase a bunch of baby gear. The only thing that I can think of is to buy some baby boy clothes, unless we want to dress him in pink, purple, and red all the time. So I recently went to a rummage sale and bought some pretty good quality used clothing at very decent prices. One of the vendors who sold me most of the clothing that I had bought that day told me that she dressed her second one (boy) in her daughter's hand-me-down pink clothes at home because, frankly, who cares, or sees it anyway. I thought that was a great idea.

Now that there's 10 weeks left in the pregnancy, I'm realizing that there's still quite a lot that I need to do to prepare for the second one's arrival. We've talked about moving Scarlett out of her crib and into her bed but we haven't done that yet. We need to move the furniture around in her room to accomodate the new bed and allocate some space for her baby brother's stuff. We'll have to figure out how to do that soon since I can't help move any of the heavy furniture. We (or I) need to wash all his clothes while I still have a chance. I just bought some newborn-sized diapers and so I think we're set on that. (I guess I get the pleasure of checking off the easiest task off the to-do list.) We've tossed around some names a while ago but haven't really gone beyond that. We talked about the need to decide on circumcision or not but haven't talked about that either. We haven't really "lined up" help for the first month or so after his birth. And since I'm self-employed this time around, we don't have the luxury of maternity leave pay so my husband will have to use his vacation days (which he doesn't have much of) after the baby arrives. We can't really afford to depend on the pitiful paternity leave pay that the state provides. So wow, that's quite a list. I guess considering that we're pros at this, we're really not prepared at all.

Babymoon II - Kauai

Is it considered a babymoon if we have a kid with us? Well, this was our last real vacation for the three of us before the second baby comes so we made the most of it. Our first babymoon was to Italy and it was fun, a great experience, and full of memories. This second babymoon was very much unlike the first one but it was also full of memories and was very relaxing.

We invited my husband's parents to come with us with the plan that we would get away and get much couple time together. Well, it didn't turn out that way but we still had a great time, as a family. The in-laws really loved spending extended periods of time with Scarlett and they tried to shoo us away so that we can have some alone time together. However, it was hard to leave her. We wanted to experience everything with her and so we ended up doing just about everything together with her. We did get away for some snorkeling but it was just as fun to hang out at the beach everyday with her as a family, especially after she got very attached to grandma and only wanted grandma for everything. This trip was different from our last trip to Kauai with her - she was 14 months old then.

That trip started off badly with a miserable flight where she cried most of the way there due to her cold. Then she woke up between 3-4am everyday there because she stayed on California time, which is 3 hours ahead of Hawaii. We saw lots of sunrises but not too many sunsets on that trip. Most of the sunsets we saw were during our walks along the beach as we tried to get her to stop fussing and fall asleep in the baby carrier. She went to bed around 5-6pm every night so we couldn't eat out and had to eat our dinners really quietly in our condo so that we wouldn't wake her up. Our bedtime was around 8-9pm because we had to get up with her at 3 in the morning. She was crawling then and wasn't quite walking yet so her mobility (and our freedom) was much limited.

This time, she thoroughly enjoyed the trip. Amazingly (and first break in her streak), she didn't get sick before our flight. So the flight there was uneventful and she converted to Hawaii time after the 3rd day there. I have to say, but not with regret, we did not see a single sunrise on this trip. We did see a few sunsets. Not as many as we liked because sunset happened around her dinner time but it was great just to be able to have relatively normal dinners.

We stayed at the same condo resort as we did last time, and on our honeymoon, which had nice big lawns and a beach within a few minutes walk. Scarlett went to the beach just about everyday there. She was perfectly happy running on the grass down to the beach, making sand castles and forts with grandpa, and chasing the waves with her dad and grandma.


We cherished the memories of seeing her truly enjoying Hawaii for the first time, as she was able to play in the sand and run around. We only went to the pool once and that wasn't too exciting. I was hoping that she would warm up to swimming in Hawaii despite her hating it last summer when we took swimming classes but that didn't happen. She was adverturous enough to chase the waves and get her feet wet but she had no interest in getting the full-body experience. Even though my husband held her in the shallow part of the ocean and encouraged her to float securely in his arms or on the bogey board, she didn't like it and just wanted to get out of the water. I guess we'll have to conquer her fear some other time. She posed very well in this picture but it's deceiving:


We felt like we could have stayed another week if our trip allowed - not because we had a huge list of activities that we still wanted to do but simply because it was fun just to hang out at the beach everyday and get some shave ice in the afternoon or visit the farmers market there. Even though we had planned this trip thinking that we won't be able to take another vacation for a long time with two kids, I was already imagining how fun it would be to go back and have Scarlett and her brother run around and play together there. I guess we'll have to go back or it wouldn't be fair to the second one, right?

Easter 2010

My husband got Good Friday off so we had a 3-day weekend for Easter. His parents also came to "celebrate" Easter with Scarlett. Easter this year was much different than last year - not quite as cute as last year but this time, Scarlett knew a lot more about the Easter ritual (not the religious part of course). We took the train to the same park as last year but this time, Scarlett has already had practice looking for Easter eggs. It was nice that she was still in the first group of kids (2 and under) for the egg hunt but it still felt like she could've been trampled by the parents accompanying their children. This year, we decided to skip the photo op with the Easter bunny, considering what happened last year. So all we did was hung around until the egg hunt. She knew what to do and was ready to zigzag through the crowds in search of her eggs as soon as the gates were down. I had to keep pace with her to make sure that she doesn't get run over by someone. In no time, she had collected the limit of 4-5 eggs. I don't really know the true meaning of collecting eggs but from Scarlett's point of view, it's about the sport of getting as many eggs as possible and finding out what's inside those plastic eggs.
After 4 days of waking up around 5-6am and playing with grandma and grandpa all weekend, she was pooped by Sunday night. It didn't help that she only took a 1/2 hour nap on Sunday but it was a nice close to Easter weekend - cuddling and falling asleep on the couch while waiting for dinner.

Sixth Sense

It's funny how small children can sense a change, even when they don't really understand what's going on. Ever since Scarlett got sick a week and a half ago and had a fever for three days, she's become super-whiny and extra clingy to me. At first, I dismissed it as her being sick. But after she got over her illness, she was still super-whiny and extra clingy. My husband and I were both thinking that just as the terrible two's was starting to get better, it suddenly seemed to have worsened. It took me a few days to realize that maybe she's acting the way she is because she is starting to sense that my pregnancy will bring changes to her life. I've seen it with other mommy friends and also heard about it. Toddlers seem to start acting up and get fussier even though they don't really understand what it means to have a little brother or sister. Since I'm not trained as a psychologist, I would only venture to guess that they sense a separation or shared love just as keenly as pets sense an imminent earthquake. Needless to say, it has exasperated me and I'm really getting worried that it'll worsen in 3 months when the baby comes. Her potty-training issue has not gotten better and I'm starting to think that I need some sort of external consultation to help nip this one in the bud.

A Short Day at the Beach

We decided to head to the beach last Saturday on a short whim: a mommy friend was going with her 2-year-old and infant twins and invited us to join them. It's been a while since we've been to the beach and who would say no to Capitola, especially since the weather was nice. So we packed up and headed out at 9:40am, approximately 40 minutes later than originally planned. It takes a while to get out the door with a toddler in tow. My mommy friend was running about an hour behind and I was not surprised. I can't imagine what it's like to head out the door with a toddler and infant twins.
The plan was to get to the beach around 10am, have the kids play around, catch an early lunch, and head home in time for the toddlers' nap. After stopping at Target to buy some buckets and shovels, we finally got to the beach around 11am. So much for catching an early lunch. Our friends arrived half an hour later, after having to stop at a supermarket to buy bottles because they forgot to pack the infants' bottles on their way out the door. Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable time at the beach. We got take out and ate our lunch at the beach, which meant no toddlers running around the restaurant and being yelled at to sit down in their chairs. The weather was perfect (no wind, not too hot, and not too cold) and we got to lounge around while Scarlett played with the sand. As the crowd came in and started to circle around for parking spots, we already had our fun and was ready to head home for naptime. Why can't everyday be like this?

Riding the Train

It's been a while since Scarlett and I rode the train so last Friday, I remembered and managed to squeeze in a train ride before her nap time. We zipped over to the Caltrain station in downtown Mountain View mid-morning after doing some grocery shopping and dropping off our groceries. I didn't have time to look up the train schedule so I figured that we'd just wing it. Of course it's my luck that the train arrived as we just got out of our parked car across the street from the train station. We missed the train but caught the next one half an hour later. It's amazing how much Scarlett loves the train. We rode it to Menlo Park, which is about 4 stops north of us. It was starting to feel like a nice little outing between Scarlett and I as we browsed the bookstore in Menlo Park and had lunch at the cafe next door. Of course, it never goes perfectly. I ordered a sandwich for us to share, some soup and hot chocolate for her. As if she doesn't already have a hard time sitting down to eat her meals normally, it didn't help at all to be sitting at the cafe with a bunch of people around us and pigeons meandering near a water fountain to serve as extra distraction. After she sucked down her not-so-hot chocolate, she was ready to run around and play. It was nearly impossible to feed her the soup or to get her to eat much of the sandwich. After getting mad at her for refusing to sit and eat and embarassing myself by yelling at her for arching her back and not sitting in her chair, I finally relented and decided to let her run around. As I wolfed down my sandwich (it's never an enjoyable meal with her, even at a nice relaxing cafe) and in between one of her rounds back to the table, she decided to poop for the second time (luckily, she had pull-ups on). Just seconds after telling her that we can go back to the bookstore to use the restroom, I suddenly realized that we should get to the train station to catch the train that would arrive in about 15 minutes. With the poop issue forgotten, we hurried down the steps towards the train station. As we were walking, I saw the train coming and realized that I was wrong about the train coming in 15 minutes. So I scooped her up and sprinted towards the train and was able to catch it before it left. I thought that my running days were over during my pregnancy but I guess I can still run.