Nostalgia

Our baby bassinet has been sitting in our storage room for over two years now. We bought it a month before Scarlett was born, almost 6 years ago. A year after she was born, the bassinet was recalled. Having a hectic life at that time (looking back now, we didn't even know what hectic was as life was easier when we only had one kid), we didn't rush to return the recalled bassinet. It sat in our storage room until the second one came around. We figured that there's probably very low risk in using it, so we used it for Elliot. A couple of months after his birth, the bassinet went back to the storage room. I finally got around to taking it back to Target today, where we bought it from, since we can't in good conscious give away a recalled bassinet. (Although, I have mixed feelings about recalls. True, that a few children may have died to cause a company to recall an item but our crib tent was recalled and we still use it for Elliot. The chance of him getting hurt by the crib tent is miniscule compared to the chance of him hurting himself trying to climb out of his crib.) To my surprise, we got our money back, despite how long we've had the bassinet. Even though I see it every time I go to the storage room, actually pushing it from my car to the Target store brought back nostalgia of the kids sleeping in there as babies. Maybe that's why I'm a pack rat...

Things to be Thankful For

I know Thanksgiving has passed but with Christmas just around the corner, I'm also thinking about things to be thankful for that I consider "presents". Obviously, the gravest thing lingering on many people's minds is the recent horrific mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School of 20 children and 6 adults last Saturday. It devastated all of us, especially parents of children of similar age to those who were killed. While our mourning doesn't come close to that of the parents who lost their children in the shooting, we were all deeply affected because we know that there was nothing "violence-prone" about that specific school. While incredibly rare, it could happen anywhere, in any town, suburban, rural, or inner city. Even though the statistics are really minuscule for something like that to happen to any one person, tell that to those parents who lost their child or loved one. Even though it is very distant from where I live and I don't personally know any of the families affected, my good mommy friend was not so lucky. Her best friend's daughter and only child was one of the victims. I can't imagine what they're going through right now. She flew out there the day after the shooting to help her friend get through it all. So I am very grateful to have two very healthy children, alive and well. It's really not fair for those parents to have lost their precious children and I'm deeply saddened by it. I know I am human and will still get mad and yell at my kids but I will continue to remind myself how lucky I am to have them in my life.

The other "present" is my parents selling their store. They've ran that liquor store for 30 years now and I've almost given up on my hope of them visiting here. While escrow hasn't closed yet, it's still very happy news for me. I don't know what they plan to do with their next phase of life but I'm glad that I can take "store hold-ups" off my list of things to worry about soon. I can't wait for them to visit so that I can take them to wine country, since my dad enjoys drinking wine (esp. Napa wine).

Busy Times

Time seems to slip by when life gets busy and months later, I'm wondering to myself how much my 2-year old has been talking when just 4-6 months ago, he barely said much. Over the last two months, my husband and I have been constantly marveling over how much he talks and in complete sentences. I must have noticed it a couple of months ago when he was playing with his wooden train tracks and exclaimed to me: "mama, look what I made!" Research has shown that the more time the TV is on in the background, the less words little kids hear in a day, and thus, slower verbal and cognitive development. Well, I think Elliot's exposure to words per day is less of a function of TV exposure (or the lack of) and more of a function of how much his older sister talks. I'm sure hearing her talk all day (and she's quite loquacious) had the most impact on his verbal development. Now, he says funny things like, "baba, you're funny" when my husband is being goofy, or "jea-jea (sister), you go to time out!" when he's mad at his sister. Other funny things that he says are more toddler-like. Six months ago, he used to call truck "fuck". He doesn't say it as much but I found it quite funny. Or when he wants to watch trucks on TV, he calls it "fuckin TV!" I wish there are easy ways to capture and archive the things they say (in their own voice) to save for eternity. Little things to look back on or otherwise I'll forget. I remember Scarlett used to say some pretty funny things too but all I remember now is her telling people to "ass" when she wanted people to sit. Maybe they're glad that their mother has a shoddy memory these days.

Childhood Memories

Part of my childhood memories consisted of times spent with lots of cousins and aunts and uncles who visited from Taiwan and New Jersey and would stay at my parents' house for an extended period of time. I remember having lots of relatives at my parents house growing up and had fond memories of that. There were some cousins who I was much closer to than the rest of my cousins (and I have A LOT of cousins since my parents each have 8 siblings). Now that I have kids, I feel sad sometimes that they don't have cousins who they see and know on a regular basis. A few months ago, my closest cousin who is 6 years younger than me and spent every summer of her childhood visiting us from New Jersey, suggested that we start seeing each other on a yearly basis. I thought that was a great idea. Now that we both have kids, it would be great for our kids to know each other, even though they live on the two separate coasts. So we decided on July 4th week to raid my parents' house this year. So far, Scarlett has been having a great time getting to know her cousin (my cousin's 16 year old daughter) and her aunties (my two cousins from the East Coast). Elliot is more reserved but seems happy too to be running around my parents' house and hanging out with new relatives.

I'm looking forward to this becoming a new tradition.

Kindergarten Will Be Upon Us Soon!

I've always thought of kindergarten as something far in the future for us to think about. Now, I can't believe that Scarlett is starting kinder in the fall! I'm suddenly starting to mourn the loss of freedom and the early childhood years. I know that starting kinder is also the start of Scarlett's formal education and her development into a well-informed individual but I'm just not ready yet to give up on the flexibility that we've had the last 4 1/2 years and be bound by the rigidity of the school calendar. The ability to go on playdates on any weekday, the rare occasion of going camping at Costanoa along the coast mid-week, the freedom to leave early in the day for a long weekend trip, or go up to Tahoe for our annual ski trip Thurs.-Sun. on a non-holiday weekend... I guess this all started with Scarlett's Chinese preschool asking parents to re-enroll their children, if they desire, for the fall programs by the end of this week. It got me thinking about what I want to do with my work schedule starting this fall. In a lot of ways, I have great flexibility with my consulting work. On the other hand, I also have a lot of inflexibility for potential projects that require all-day sampling at client sites. Do I sign her up for the after school program at the Chinese school? They don't pick-up kids so I'll have to take Scarlett mid-afternoon from her kinder to her Chinese after school program. What if I have to do all-day sampling on one of those days? What about Thursdays, where the kinder class has minimum days? Do I sign her up for 5 days of after school care at her kindergarten (probably through the YMCA)? Will those costs add up to the childcare/preschool costs we've been paying for her now? That defeats our hope of starting to save some money once she starts kindergarten. I'm just not ready yet...

First Love Letter?

Scarlett has known one of the boys at her preschool since she was born. Caleb was the first child of one of my mommy friends and he also has been at the same daycare/preschool since he was 3 months old. They're pretty good friends and it was just too cute to see this when I picked up her school papers this morning when I dropped Scarlett off:

I'm pretty sure that's Scarlett's writing but did she mean, "I love Caleb, Scarlett"? And did she draw that rocket or did he draw it? I'll have to find out today when I pick her up. Here's what she drew for me:

First Disneyland Experience

We've always thought that we should wait until Scarlett is 5 years old before taking her to Disneyland. But since we were visiting my parents in L.A. this past January, it was too tempting to resist. She's 4.5 years old so close enough, right? Since we were down there for a short trip (mainly to celebrate Chinese New Year), we only had one day to visit Disneyland. I had all this stress built up about making the trip fun, worthwhile, and not stressful for my husband and I. Even though I've probably visited Disneyland about 20 times in my childhood, I still stressed over it because it costs so much now. I didn't want it to not be fun for my husband and I (kids getting overstimulated, not being able to wait in lines, melting down...) and yet, I also wanted us to get our money's worth. So we got there a little after they opened and much to my surprise, the kids lasted until about 5pm, which was much longer than I had expected. I had mentally planned to leave once the kids started getting tired and starting throwing fits. Luckily, that never happened. Around lunchtime, I forced Elliot into the ergo carrier and got him to nap for 45 minutes while Scarlett waited in line to see a princess. Other than that, they were pretty good about waiting in lines and not melting down.

Hawaii 2012

We had the fortune of going back to Kauai this March. The last time we were there, I was about six months pregnant with Elliot, and Scarlett was 2.5 years old. We had such a great time there that we thought we should go back again after Elliot was born. We had images of Scarlett and Elliot running around on the grassy area of the condo we stayed at and playing at the beach. And sure enough, this trip was just like that. Even though it rained a lot, it was still memorable with Elliot running around to his heart's desire and playing in the sand at the beach. Elliot also had a great time chasing birds/feral chickens where ever we went. It was adorable watching him scream with delight while running after birds.


Scarlett swam in the ocean for the first time (with an inner tube we bought at the hotel we stayed at the first 2 nights). She also had a great time hanging out with grandma everyday (grandma and grandpa went with us). I know we've gone there 3 times now with Scarlett but I can't wait to go back there again sometime in the future.

The Juggle

I subscribe to the Wall Street Journal and enjoy reading a column that the paper has weekly called 'The Juggle.' They focus on the choices and tradeoffs people make as they juggle work and family. This week has truly felt like the Armageddon of all Juggles. Most of the time when my kids get sick, I can manage to postpone my work deliverables because they are somewhat flexible. Not so this week. Elliot had been home sick with a fever since last Sunday and so I've been keeping him home, which means I can't get any work done, except for the hours that he is napping and during the evening after the kids go to bed. Unfortunately, I had a sampling project at a construction site that was not flexible and was moved up with short notice. So him being home decreased the amount of time I had to prepare for my project. It all culminated this Tues. evening when I was trying to set up the sampling equipment for use the following morning. I had to wait until after the kids went to bed and I ran into a snafu with the equipment and couldn't get some of them to work. Since it was late in the evening, there was no one I could call for troubleshooting. I wasn't able to fix the issue and resigned to the fact that I would just have to show up at the project site and tell the client that some of the work can't be done. I didn't go to bed until after 11pm. I got up at 5am Wed. morning so that I could get to the project site in SF. It also happened that my husband was leaving for a business trip to China Wed. So someone else relieved me at the project site, I came home around 10am and relieved my husband from watching Elliot so that he could leave to catch his flight. Then my MIL, who dropped whatever she had planned with such short notice, came down around 2pm to watch Elliot so that I could return to the project site to collect my samples. I got back home after 5pm to take Elliot to his doctor's appointment for his wheezing and fourth day of fever. It turned out that his fever was waning and wasn't an issue but his wheezing was pretty severe. The doctor gave him a treatment in the office and recommended that I give him a treatment every 4 hours for the next 48 hours. I thought, are you sh--ting me?! I need to set my alarm to wake up every 4 hours and give him his medicine? As it turned out, the doctor's recommendation of treating him while he was sleeping worked like a charm. Because Elliot hated the albuterol treatment with a mask over his face, doing it in his sleep was much more effective. But I was not pleased at all with not being able to sleep much. I guess that's why they call it The Juggle. Do you have a similar story? If so, please share!

Registering for Kindergarten

I've been attending information nights recently for various kindergartens in our school district and just the whole thought of Scarlett going to kindergarten is incredible. I can't believe 4 years have gone by so fast. I remember thinking that school is a long-time away for us. Now, we have to pick a kindergarten for her to attend this fall! It's supposed to be exciting for her to be entering the school system but it seems quite sad to me that we will have to start planning our calendars around the school schedule for the next 13 years (and more).

When we bought our house, we didn't think much about school districts, just whether we could afford to buy a place with how crazy the market was. We just assumed that we would move to a "better" school district once that became a factor. Who knew that the housing market would dump and we would be stuck underwater with our house. Growing up, I was lucky enough to be living in a city that had a great school district (thanks to my aunt, who helped my parents pick out the city when we first immigrated here). Thus, we just went to the school that was for our neighborhood. Now, for Scarlett, we have to figure out what is the "best" school for her. I've been burying my head in the sand for a while on this just because there wasn't much we could do about it. Our neighborhood school happens to be the crappiest school in the whole district: lower API scores and more students who do not speak English. I know, it sounds a bit elitist of me but who doesn't want to put their kid in a school with higher test scores and student population that is able to learn the required State curriculum quickly so that the teacher can potentially teach above that minimum standard? We all know that California schools suck in general so if our kids can be taught lessons above and beyond the California minimum standard, then great! Anyway, luckily, our school district also has two "choice" schools where students who reside within Mountain View can choose to attend one of those schools. We can choose between a school that was started with a focus on experiential learning (PACT) or one that is dual-immersion Spanish-English. Both schools have a waitlist every year and entrance is based on a lottery. So we are not guaranteed a spot and if we don't get in, we automatically get into our neighborhood school. I've been attending information nights for both schools and it seems difficult for me to decide what is the "best" school for her. I know, it's only kindergarten but before we know it, she will be in 3rd or 4th grade and almost done with elementary school. So picking the "right" school does matter.

I like the idea of experiential learning and the fact that PACT has a lot more focus on art, teaching based on the individual child's development, a garden, and various other non-standard learning activities. This school can offer all this because there is a required parent participation of 2 hours per week. It does sound challenging, given my consulting work but I think it's doable. They have great API scores, one of the better ones in the school district. The downside is that the school does not have as great of a facility as other schools. They don't really have an auditorium for school performances and the school library is a small trailer. They have to beg and borrow for every little thing. My neighbor has two sons who are attending kindergarten and 2nd grade there currently. She told me that when her first one started there, they didn't even have a playground. They just had hula hoops and jump ropes. How sad is that?

I also like the idea of dual language immersion. I just wish that it was Mandarin instead of Spanish. I don't have anything against Spanish (Scarlett has been in a Spanish-speaking daycare for 4 years now) but I think Mandarin would be a much cooler language (my biased opinion) for her to acquire fluency/literacy in, especially for her to excel in the 21st century marketplace. We could have her enrolled in a Mandarin dual immersion school, which happens to be down the street from us but unfortunately, it's a private school. I think we're contemplating it as our "back-up" plan, in case we don't win the school lottery and get into the choice school that we decide on. The thought of paying "daycare" prices still, for the next 6 years does not sound so great though.

Who knew going to kindergarten would be such a dilemma?

LA Trip Between Christmas and New Year's

I don't visit my family in LA too often anymore but I always look forward to it despite the fact that it's usually not that exciting whenever we're down there. It usually ends up being a continuous vigilance of watching over the kids to make sure that they don't hurt themselves since my parent's house is not baby- or kid-proofed, not to mention a huge staircase. And we also don't sleep well since the kids don't sleep well. It's a balance between having some facetime with my family and trying to keep the kids on their regular sleep schedule. My parents work 7 days a week so visiting them isn't about dropping the grandkids off with them and going off for some couple time. It's more about seeing my family (for myself) and letting them interact with the kids as much as possible, which is usually in the morning before my parents leave for their liquor store.

My husband had the week between Christmas and New Year's off so I decided that we should visit my family then. The last time I saw my family was in July.

Despite the fact that we both dread driving anywhere far with the kids, we drove down to LA so that we could have some toys for the kids to play with when they're down at my parents' house. In fact, we brought half of their Christmas presents. Elliot does not like riding in cars. He doesn't fall asleep easily in cars either. From our experience of visiting the in-laws just two hours away, we expected Elliot to scream/cry (we're talking ear-piercing screams here) a lot in the car on the way down to LA. But surprisingly, the drive turned out to be not so bad. We figured that if we left around 5am in the morning, the kids could sleep in the car for a few hours and by the time they're up, we're almost half way to LA. Well, that didn't quite happen. We left the house at 5:30am. Both kids woke up when we transferred them into the car. Despite my earnest hope of them falling asleep soon after, it didn't happen. In fact, they were both wide awake until about 4 hours into the drive. We drove really fast thinking that the sooner we get there, the less screaming we would have to deal with. Ironically, when they fell asleep about 1 hour away from our destination, we drove as slow as possible so that they could nap as long as possible. (We left LA at 9am on our drive back home and the same thing happened - they didn't fall asleep until after lunch, about four hours into our drive. Go figure!)

We were there for a little less than 5 days. The first two days were spent adjusting to Elliot not sleeping well. By the third day, we were finally adjusted and managed to get some fun family time together. We took the kids to Griffith Park in Los Angeles and Elliot got to ride on a pony for the first time. Scarlett loved it and rode it three times. I've never been to a pony ride where small children are allowed to ride by themselves without an adult walking next to them. These ponies though were so well trained that both Elliot and Scarlett rode by themselves (in fact, parents are not allowed on the track).
After Griffith Park, we drove over to Santa Monica for a little beach time. The kids had a blast. It was also 70 degrees and just perfect at the beach. (One of the reasons I love LA.)

That was probably our best day there.

The fourth day, we took Scarlett and Elliot to a kids museum and they had a great time.






Originally, we had hoped to take Scarlett and Elliot to Disneyland for the first time. But we decided that it was a bad idea, since Disneyland is the most crowded between Christmas and New Year's. I think it was better that we went to the park, beach, and museum instead because it wasn't overly crowded and the kids had a great time. We'll try Disneyland the next time we're down there - Chinese New Year.

Another positive out of this trip was the fact that my older brother played with Scarlett quite a bit. That was nice to watch because he isn't very good at interacting with small children (I think it's mostly out of not knowing what to do with them). We had brought Scarlett's new scooter down to LA with us and she enjoyed riding it in the back yard, with my older brother chasing her.

Eating Habits

Now that Elliot has settled into somewhat of a regular eating habit, I'm starting to see the differences between how Scarlett and Elliot eats. I spent the first 3 years battling Scarlett's lack of eating and now that I have Elliot to compare to, I'm starting to see how different they are. For Scarlett, eating seems to be a chore for her. She always seem excited about eating at the beginning of mealtime but by the 3rd or 4th bite, she seems to have lost interest. (Believe me, it's not because I'm a poor chef.) It's amazing though how much and how little she can eat. If she really wants to, she can really eat. Sometimes, I even want to say that she is too "lazy" to eat.

Elliot on the other hand, seems to focus on shoving food in his mouth until he is mostly full then he's off to play. He's a much better eater, in general, than Scarlett. It's amazing how much food he shoves into his mouth for each mouthful. He seems highly motivated to eat until he has had enough. With him, I have a much easier time letting him tell me that he's done and not pushing him to eat more. With Scarlett, it was always hard because she ate really well once in a blue moon. So it's not like if she doesn't eat well today, she will eat a lot tomorrow. Therefore, I found myself pushing her to eat even though I've read that I shouldn't do that. It's just hard to deal with how little she eats, meal after meal. I have definitely come to much better terms with it but it took a really long time.

Lately, we've noticed that as soon as Elliot is done eating and is off playing, Scarlett will want to get down and be "done" with her meal. It doesn't really mean that she's "full" or is truly done with eating. When we're in a good mood and willing to cater her request of us feeding her as she runs by while playing (definitely not something that we want to encourage), she will eat just about her whole meal. If we insist on her feeding herself, she will simply walk away from it, as if she's calling our bluff. As an example, here's a replay of a recent dinner.

Scarlett: I want to be done with dinner.
Me: Well, you haven't eaten most of your dinner. If you eat your dinner, you can have ice cream cake afterwards.
Scarlett: Ok. (a bite later) I'm done. I don't want anymore.
Me: Well, you can't have any ice cream cake then.
Scarlett: Ok, I don't want any ice cream cake. I'm done.
Me: Fine, Elliot, baba, and I will have some ice cream cake then.
Scarlett: No, I don't want any of you to have ice cream cake either.
Me: We're going to have ice cream cake because we all ate our dinner.
Scarlett: Ok, I'll eat my dinner.

So she nibbled a few more bites and managed to eat two-thirds of her dinner, and got some ice cream cake.

2011 in Review

2011 literally flew by for us. When the holidays approached, my husband and I both thought to ourselves, wow, it's December already? How did that happen? Well, reflecting on 2011, I know why. We have a 1-year-old and a 4-year-old. I think the first 3 months of 2011 was spent trying to survive sicknesses for the whole family. It's amazing what putting kids in daycare can bring back in terms of germs. A mommy friend of mine who is a nurse practitioner always reminded me that it helps build the kid's immune system. Well, we barely survived it. I had to pull Elliot out of daycare for a month because he had bronchiolitis around 7-months of age. It just seemed like as soon as he got better, he got sick again.

The rest of the year flew by because we were in survival mode for the first two-thirds of the year. Elliot was a very hard baby, partly due to the fact that he had most of his teeth before he turned one and he didn't take the pacifier or his thumb, so had a hard time getting to/staying asleep. He's 17-months now and I can't even remember the last time he was teething. He got it over with within his first year of life. He still needs his last 4 molars to pop out but I'm in no hurry for that to happen. I think I must have aged 4 years on the last year. Of course there were tons of wonderful memories and the nostalgia over my last one not being a baby anymore. Hopefully, 2012 will be easier than 2011.

Chinese School

So I finally got Scarlett started in a Chinese preschool. Since I wasn't successful in teaching her Mandarin, I'm paying other people to do it. Haha, pathetic me! This was actually a preschool that I had her on the waitlist for before we had Elliot. I had planned to enroll her in a more "formal", but play-based, preschool (as opposed to the preschool that she's in at Wally's daycare) but after we had Elliot, it didn't make sense to have two drop-offs everyday. Also, even though I was skeptical at first, her preschool teacher at Wally's has been really successful in getting her ready for kindergarten. Her preschool at Wally's isn't academically oriented or accredited but her preschool teacher has done a great job in exposing her to art, crafts, "science," and the alphabet (upper and lower case). I'm continually surprised at how much Scarlett has learned in the past year. I still get comments from people about how impressed they are that Scarlett's been able to write her own name.

I had completely forgotten about the Chinese immersion preschool until the beginning of this summer when a few mommy friends were talking about it (two of my mommy friends have their 4 year olds in the school). I realized that it was the same preschool that I had looked into before. So I contacted the school to find out what's new and why I was never contacted about my waitlist status (even though I had forgotten about them). It turned out that the school is expanding and moving to a bigger campus end of this summer, which would allow for a bigger class, including after-school sessions for grade-school kids, and a class for 2 year olds. I definitely signed Elliot up for that, when he turns two. I was pretty much ready to start Scarlett at the Chinese preschool for two days a week but at the last moment, we realized that it would be too expensive for us to do both Chinese preschool and Wally's.

When our daycare fiasco occurred, I thought about moving her to the Chinese preschool completely. But the mess at daycare got sorted out and we thought about how much she would miss her friends at Wally's. Plus, we wouldn't have the 40% sibling discount for Scarlett's "tuition" with both kids at Wally's. So we were reluctant to pull her out. We knew that she was getting quality care and a good preschool curriculum at Wally's so we didn't want to change her routine too much. We did realize that if she did two half-days at Chinese preschool, it would be a bit more "affordable." It would also get her more familiar with the Chinese preschool should something happen at Wally's again and we end up having to pull her out completely. So she started at the Chinese preschool end of September. Since the preschool moved to a bigger campus, three more mommy friends have enrolled their 4 year olds in the school. So it's comforting to know that Scarlett isn't going to a completely new setting. She would at least know a lot of the kids there already. It's playbased but it's complete Chinese immersion with conversational Mandarin. I was a bit apprehensive that she would reject it and resist learning the language. But so far, she's been very open to it. Her favorite CD right now is a Mandarin music CD. Even though she doesn't understand it, she plays it everyday (even I'm sick of it). Hopefully, she would be speaking a few Mandarin phrases / sentences by next summer.

Early Talk about Santa

For some unknown reason, Scarlett recently asked about Santa. Last week, she asked me if Santa enters through the chimney. I said yes. She then asked how Santa gets into our house since we don't have a chimney. I had to tell her that Santa enters through our back door (for houses without chimneys).

Today, she asked about Santa again! She wanted to know why he comes at night and not in the morning. After I explained it, she wanted to know how Santa knew where everyone lives. I had to make up things, one after another, to appease her curiosity. I asked her why the sudden questions about Santa. She said that she wanted to try and guess what Santa is going to bring her this year. Hmm...

Our Daycare Fiasco

Our daycare has recently turned into the source of our anxiety/stress. We've trusted them for almost 4 years since Scarlett started there when she was 3 months old. Scarlett is now in the preschool room where they have a preschool teacher who has been providing a curriculum that ensures the kids are kindergarten-ready next year. Elliot also goes there for daycare in the infant room. Three of my mommy friends also have their kids there. We know most of the other parents in Scarlett's preschool class. Our kids have been inviting each other to their respective birthday parties for the past two years. I feel like we've built a community around the daycare. Not only do they provide hot lunches, they are also caring and loving to the kids and offer extra care during the weekend or middle of the night when some of the parents had their second child.

About a month ago, they got inspected and was cited for what I thought was a problem with their ratio. We all signed forms acknowledging that we were informed about the inspection. Most of us didn't really care that much because we know that they have a really good ratio of caretakers to kids there. We've witnessed it ourselves on a daily basis. It wasn't until Tuesday of last week that really shook up all the parents. I had gone to pick up the kids and couldn't find Elliot. I figured that he's probably with a daycare provider. It wasn't until I found him in the main house (where the owner lives) that really troubled me. Unbeknownst to me, the inspector was there for a return inspection. Elliot and several other infants (defined as 0-2 years old for daycare purposes) were "hiding out" with their caretakers. I was asked to exit another door to avoid being seen by the inspector. I did as I was told but was shocked and dismayed about the whole event. A week and a half of daycare drama later, it turns out that the daycare has two licenses, allowing 12 kids per license. They were about 15 kids over. It doesn't feel like it because the kids are not breathing on top of each other. There's ample space for the kids there since the property is big enough with ample playground space and rooms to accomodate all the kids. Although, it should have been a sign to me when several months ago, we all noticed that parking had gotten worse. Anyway, I've been justifying to myself that the daycare provider ratio is really good, the kids are well taken care of, and they've all been thriving there. So what is the problem? Well, various little things have started to nag me. Now I'm beginning to question whether this is the "best" place for my kids. Of course there isn't a "best" place because that all depends on what daycares have openings and whether my kids like it there or not.

Now, I'm conflicted about what is in the best interest of my kids. Stick around and wait for the daycare to get a variance to allow them to have the number of kids that they have now, and go through some turmoil in the short-term? Or take my kids somewhere else and uproot my kids from what's familiar to them and all the friends/providers they've known? WE would probably end up paying more to have Scarlett in a true preschool and Elliot in a separate daycare. We currently get a 40% discount on Scarlett's rate for having two kids there. Tough decision to make and no clear answers.

Scarlett's 4th Birthday

Our kids aren't in grade school yet and our summer travel is already dictated by their school schedule. Scarlett's preschool and Elliot's daycare has a shut-down every summer for a week. So this year, two other mommy friends of mine who also use the same daycare suggested that we rent a beach house in Santa Cruz for four days. We also talked about having a joint birthday party because our three 3-year-olds were born within 3 weeks of each other. And with having 9 families in our mommy group, it seems that every summer is just booked with birthday parties. By the time it's our kids' turn to have their birthday parties, everyone in the mommy group has grown tired of the parties. So we thought that having a joint party would be a great idea. Since we were going to be in Santa Cruz the first week of August, we might as well have their joint birthday party there too. The whole trip sounded much better than it actually was. We did have a good time but it sure wasn't relaxing or restful. And it definitely wasn't a true vacation.


Out stay at the beach house was punctuated with chaos, lots of screaming, crying, and of course, like any trip, lack of sleep. One family has a 3-year-old boy who's a week older than Scarlett and a 11-month old boy who is 3 weeks younger than Elliot. Their two boys were born on the same day (not the same year). The other family has a 3-year-old boy who is about 3 weeks older than Scarlett. They also have twin girls who turn two a few days before Scarlett's birthday. As you can imagine, the noise volume is quite high everyday until bedtime. For us, it was tiring because Elliot didn't sleep well during the night and was hard to put down for naps during the daytime. Scarlett hardly napped and was bouncing off the ceiling the whole time. My husband and I slept horribly and was on the go until the kids went to bed, which was pretty close to our bedtime. Still, we had many great memories that we will always remember. Scarlett had her first slumber party: she slept in the same room with the other two 3-year-old boys. They were put to bed around 9pm generally and we would eaves-drop on them afterwards. If we didn't shut them up, they probably would have talked for hours. It was hilarious the things they talked about. Surprisingly, they talked a lot about their siblings, in a defensive way. Here's one of the conversations:
"Let's talk about our babies!"
"Yeah!"
"Scarlett, your little brother pushed my brother today."
"Scarlett, your little brother fell down, broke his leg, and had to go to the hospital." (made up, of course)
Scarlett: "Caleb, you can call my little brother Elliot. His name is Elliot."

We also put Elliot in a separate room from us. But that didn't work out quite as well. He was in the same room as the twin girls (all in their own pack n' plays). Luckily, the girls slept pretty well throughout the night. Elliot on the other hand, woke up many times (crying of course) throughout the night.

Here's our typical day: I'm usually the first person up in the morning with Elliot around 5:30-6am. The other baby Elliot's age wakes up soon after. Then around 7am, the 3-year-olds are up and running around the house. Trying to feed 7 kids breakfast in the morning is pretty chaotic. By 9am, the kids are either going stir-crazy or driving their parents crazy so the family with the twins usually heads to the beach. But by that time, it's naptime for Elliot and the other baby. So I stay at the house with Elliot until he is done with his morning nap. Then we try and join up w/ the rest of the group. After lunch, everyone heads back to the house for naptime for the 3-year-olds. One 3-year-old won't nap so he gets quiet time. Scarlett has to be forced to take a nap. The other 3-year-old is driven around in his parent's car until he falls asleep. After Scarlett has gone down, it's Elliot's turn to nap. This is usually a 45-minute affair to try and get him to fall asleep. After nap-time, we take a walk and it's time to get dinner ready for the kids. After feeding the kids, we put a movie on for the 3-year-olds while the younger ones get put down to bed and a couple of parents make dinner for the adults. After dinner, we put the 3-year-olds to bed, clean up, chat a little, and it's bedtime. Phew! Not quite a vacation, is it? The place had a hot tub in the backyard but I think the 3-year-olds enjoyed it the most. At least the change of scenery is nice. For us, Scarlett was the one who had the best time.

Shaping the Palate

I recently heard a radio segment on NPR about latest research showing that a pregnant woman's choice of foods during pregnancy may shape a baby's food preferences later in life. I have to say - I tried that and it didn't work for me. When I was pregnant with Scarlett, I wanted to make sure that my child grows up to have a diverse palate like my husband and I. I didn't want my child to be the stereotypical American that would only eat meat and potatoes and spaghetti. So I ate like I normally would: Indian food with a lot of different spices, Chinese food (of course), Mediterranean food, spicy Thai food, Moroccan food, etc. I did the same when I was breastfeeding, thinking that she would taste all the different flavors that I've been enjoying. No such luck! Not only did she not develop a diverse palate, she is a very picky eater. The first three years of her life, she was pretty much a starch-a-tarian. She ate many fruits, just about no vegetables, bread, noodles, and crackers. It wasn't until this past year that we've discovered her picky but discerning palate for expensive food. She normally doesn't eat meat. She just doesn't like the texture/chewiness of them. Rarely, I can get her to eat some meatballs or chicken or ham. She doesn't even like cheese sticks, one of the staples of kids cuisine. Then we found out that she likes strong/expensive cheese: blue cheese, gorgonzola, french cheeses, just don't offer her cheddar or mozzarella. A couple of weeks ago, my husband bought one aged, T-bone steak for the two of us to share in celebration of his transition from his old job to working at Apple. That one steak was somewhere in the neighborhood of $30. Scarlett wanted to try it. So we thought, sure! Well, she loved it. Ate 5-10 bites. So we told her that she better marry a rich person!

From Bag Lady to Hoarder

Scarlett's latest thing is piling all her stuff on the couch. Some nights, it's so covered with her stuff that we can't even sit on the couch. I don't know why she does that but she likes to take everything she cares about that day and put them on the couch. Part of it is to keep them from her brother but really? Do you need to put all your trinkets, knick-knacks, paper notes, stuffed animals, and other junk on the couch?

Swim Class

Scarlett started taking private swim lessons about two months ago. I can't believe how different the experience has been compared to last summer. Last summer, I signed her up for swim class through the city's recreation department and it was awful. She clung to me the whole time when we were in the pool and after 3 lessons, I quit taking her. This summer, I enrolled her in a swim class taught at someone's house where there's 1:1 attention and the pool is heated to bath water temperature. Starting with the first class, Scarlett did things that I never imagined she would do. Not only did she get in the pool with an instructor she didn't even know, but she even got comfortable with getting water in her face. Last week, the instructor told me to be extra cautious with her because she's getting brave. She wanted to take the floatation board and swim with it by herself. These lessons are much more expensive but I truly feel that it's been worth every penny.